Guano

Is it me, or is the entire American political dialogue rancid with bat sh&t crazy? What happened to debating whether ketchup is a vegetable or whether “potato” has an “e” at the end? You, Senator, are no Noah Webster.

Used to be the nuns just told young women to keep their legs together, but now we know that such was just a lot of wasted Kegel exercise. Turns out, the female anatomy actually has mysterious powers to shut down when thrust into crisis mode – like a possum playing dead or a ground fault interrupter on your kitchen outlet.  We know this because none other than Missouri senate candidate Todd Akin – he of no medical training – said so.

I’m wondering if Barack Obama ever legitimately raped anyone (I mean other than the capitalists when he turned us into a socialist country). According to a judge in Lubbock, Texas there will be civil war if he is reelected. Can we at least keep the death panels?

Tell Pat Riley I called first dibs on trademarking the phrase “Obamageddon.”  I’m gonna sell tee shirts.  I thought about setting up a live stream, but I bet Fox will be broadcasting it.  Who knew?  The revolution will be televised after all.

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