Epiphany

God damn it!

If there’s one thing that pisses me off, it’s people changing their minds when some chicken of national controversy finally comes home to roost in their own backyard – or bedroom. If you believe in something, have the courage of your convictions.

For example, don’t support healthcare for all only when you’re thrust into a situation where your family no longer has adequate healthcare. Support it from the get go, because there are millions who need it.  When you find religion only after your personal circumstance changes, you’re nothing but a cowardly hypocrite.

Take Ohio Senator Rob Portman, who has changed his mind on gay marriage after his son came out as a gay man.  There are some that will argue I should embrace Portman’s new, enlightened perspective on the issue, and be thankful that he’s finally come to his senses. But, sort of like the old Far Side cartoon, this is what I hear when Portman addresses the issue:

“Yeah, when I could see this was affecting my kid, it was time to do something about it.  I always knew other people had gay kids, but those people never mattered to me.”

Right and wrong – however one wants to define them – don’t change based on your gene pool. No reasonable person, let alone a U.S. Senator, would say out loud that they oppose funding for Katrina clean-up because they don’t live in New Orleans. Or, screw funding for cancer research, “cuz no one in my family has it.”

The corollary to this perverted logic was foolish back when the original George Bush asked Mike Dukakis if he’d support the death penalty if Kitty Dukakis were raped and murdered, and the proof is equally foolish now.

Similar to repeat DUI offenders that are forced to attend safe driving classes, people like Portman should be required to attend remedial Senator school.  The whole point of public service, even from a jaded, cynical perspective, is that you’ve been elected by an entire state to represent it in matters of national policy. “Family values” are one thing, but limiting your constituency to literally just your family, is absurd.

Rob Portman, you are not a hero.  You came begrudgingly to what you seem to think is a Eureka moment. I have no doubt you love your kids every bit as much as we all love ours. That is precisely why yours is the worst kind of flip-floppery.  Suck on that one for a minute.

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